In Defence of the Housewife: Why Domestic Life Serves Society Best — And Why That Isn’t Misogyny
16 September, 2026 · Sebastian Moniz
Growing up, I had two full-time working parents, so my family was financially stable. We had a nice house, a nice car and my brother and I got to participate in many sports and activities outside of school. However, despite the fact that I was content with my home life, there were definitely some issues. My parents were constantly working to the point that they would never have time to help me with my homework, or go to the park with me. When they arrived home after a long day’s work, they would take out their frustration and stress from work on each other. Since my mum finished working late at night, she had to cook rushed meals or order unhealthy fast food for dinner. Having gone through this, I now firmly believe that housewives are vital to help all families thrive. It is a role that nowadays is sometimes seen as misogynistic, because people think it limits a woman’s independence; yet another example of the hypersensitivity in the modern world.
What a Housewife Actually Is
A housewife is a woman whose job in the family is to manage the household. They do practically everything other than earning money to ensure that the family functions properly:
. Cooking – planning healthy, properly cooked meals for the family.
. Cleaning – this includes dusting, sweeping, hoovering, organising rooms and doing the laundry.
. Shopping – buying food, clothes and other necessities.
. Childcare – this includes helping their child with school and taking them to activities outside of school (like sports).
Some people may view being a housewife as lazy because it is not a formal occupation. However, domestic labour is still labour. I challenge all of these people that criticise housewives in this way to do all of the work mentioned above for one day in a household. They will quickly see how hard-working you must be to do all necessary things other than earning a salary.
The following passage is an excerpt from a book called The Economic Emergence of Women (written by Barbara R. Bergmann). It summarises what I have said thus far in this section.
“It is commonly said that a housewife “doesn’t work” and that she “is unpaid.” The truth is, of course, that a housewife does work and does get recompense. Like other workers, she can quit or be fired. One dictionary defines an occupation as “an activity that serves as one’s regular source of livelihood.” Being a housewife is an activity that gets one food, clothing, and a place to live, and that certainly meets the dictionary’s definition of having an occupation.1“
Throughout the remaining sections of the article, I will only talk about what I think are the most important benefits of being (or living with) a housewife. There will be many advantages that I don’t talk about.
Constant Participation With Their Child
Part of the job of a housewife is to take care of their children. Therefore, they spend more time helping their child than a full-time working mother does, which provides several key advantages. For younger children, this can have significant academic and linguistic benefits. When a mother spends dedicated educational time with their child from a young age, they can identify core weaknesses in reading or Maths, which helps the child develop a good foundation before they start learning about more advanced topics. Having a dedicated time for reading or Maths can also get pupils into the habit of developing a good study routine by the time they reach secondary school. In terms of linguistic benefits, if a mother frequently communicates with a child from a very young age, the child will process the language faster and expand their vocabulary.
Below this paragraph is part of an abstract in a research paper on the National Library of Medicine, which shows the results from a study on how “time with parents affects child outcomes.”
“It is not difficult to understand why quantity of engagement in tasks that directly influence academic performance—such as reading to young children and doing homework together—have a positive effect on children’s cognitive development. Engagement in activities that are not explicitly educational but that require high levels of verbal exchange and critical involvement from both parent and child may also improve child outcomes. For example, prior studies have demonstrated that frequency of exposure to adult speech that is specifically directed to children positively influences language growth in children as young as 18 months (Hurtado et al. 2008; Shneidman and Goldin-Meadow 2012; Weisleder and Fernald 2013).2“
The more time a mother spends helping their child with school or taking them to the park, the deeper the emotional bond becomes between mother and son (or daughter). This, in turn, builds serenity and trust, which can stay strong until the day they die.
Branching off from this point is the fact that this trustworthy maternal presence can make it easier for the child to freely express their thoughts and worries. The mother can then comfort them and give them solutions to their problems. As a teenager, I bottled up all of my emotions, which led to me having many arguments and making impulsive, reckless decisions. I believe that housewives can solve these issues by encouraging children to open up about their struggles.
This is supported by the excerpt below, which was taken from a research paper that was also on the National Library of Medicine (a different paper from the earlier one). The study in this paper shows how the “time spent with parents is a crucial factor in the growth of children, and children’s well-being is an important indicator of their mental health.”
“Companionship with parents enabled children to express their thoughts and feelings freely and reduced children’s negative attitudes (Jimenez et al., 2019).3“
Home-Cooked Meals
Another part of a housewife’s job is to plan and cook meals for the family. They have to regularly go shopping to get the ingredients required, which they can then use to create a balanced, nutritious meal. My mum came home late in the evening after work on weekdays (she often arrived past 11:00pm, which is not ideal for hungry kids who need to wake up at 7:00am the next day). As a result, we ended up eating thrown-together meals or unhealthy Chinese takeaways, which are generally far inferior to the proper meals made by a dedicated housewife for the reasons below:
. More nutritious – when cooking meals at home from scratch, you can decide exactly how much sugar, salt, fat or protein you put in it. This means that meals can be specialised for families’ dietary needs. In contrast, takeaways or pre-prepared foods are generally higher in things like Na (sodium) and hyper-processed additives (unlike the fresher ingredients you buy to make meals from scratch), which can lead to long-term health problems if they are regularly consumed.
The text below shows the results of a study done in New Zealand, which shows how home-cooked meals are generally healthier than pre-prepared meals or takeaways. The study was presented on Cambridge University Press.
“The home-prepared meals were designed to provide less saturated fat and Na and more vegetables than their takeaway counterparts; however, the home-assembled meals provided more Na than the home-made meals.4“
. Lower cost – even though home-cooked meals generally require higher quality ingredients than takeaways, they are actually less expensive overall, which can add up to quite a bit of money saved over time.
The passage below also shows the results from the study mentioned above. It shows how home-cooked meals as well as pre-prepared meals are less expensive than takeaway meals.
“For five of six popular meals, the mean cost of the home-made and home-assembled meals was cheaper than the takeaway meals.5“
. Early exposure– if children are exposed to these higher quality meals from a young age, they can learn to prefer complex, thoroughly prepared meals over simple fast food or pre-packaged food. Developing their palates at childhood sets them up perfectly to explore unfamiliar dishes and cuisines throughout their whole lives instead of going down the damaging fast food route.
I believe that the importance and advantages of eating home-cooked meals is often overlooked. Having a housewife to constantly prepare these meals every day can ensure that families receive these benefits.
Reducing Stress Levels
Talcott Parsons was an American sociologist who famously described two major functions of families in the 1950s. One of these functions was known as the “Warm Bath Theory”. This theory suggest that when the husband comes home after a long day’s work, the wife’s primary goal is to give him a calm, peaceful environment at home and emotionally stabilise him. This will ensure that the husband is relaxed and refreshed.
When a man comes home to a properly cleaned house, he doesn’t have to get frustrated and angry at his wife for the amount of dust everywhere. When a man comes home to a house with dinner already on the table, he doesn’t have to get stressed about what to eat for dinner. These are just some of the factors that support Parson’s theory. The tasks that a housewife completes allows her husband to live in a pleasant, tranquil world outside of work.
However, a man will frequently have a day filled with problems that they can’t simply forget at home. In this scenario, the job of a housewife is to listen to his concerns and worries, much like they do with their children (this was explained earlier). She must not criticise him for anything, but instead she should just listen and comfort him where necessary. This will emotionally stabilise the husband, because he can express his worries without the fear of getting into an argument or fighting. If the wife was also working and had a stressful day, perhaps she wouldn’t have the patience to listen to her husband, which would eventually boil over into anger towards each other.
“Parsons also argued that families helped to prevent adults from behaving in disruptive or dysfunctional ways, instead encouraging them to conform to social norms, especially at times of stress. The family provides emotional support to its members.
Parsons famously described this in his warm bath theory. This was the idea that when a man came home from a hard day at work, he could relax into is family like a warm bath and it would take away the stress and refresh him for the next day’s work.6“
Feminists may argue that these assigned roles of a housewife are misogynistic and limit women’s independence. I will revisit this and explain why it is wrong in a later section.
Materfamilias
In Ancient Rome the title materfamilias was give to a married Roman woman who managed the household. Some of her jobs were similar to that of a Roman housewife, such as childcare and kitchen management. Both are queens of their domestic spheres. However, they differ in how much respect they are (or were) given in society. Materfamilias were highly respected in Ancient Roman society. In contrast, modern housewives are often looked down upon, because people view unpaid domestic labour as inferior to paid working, even though housewives are crucial to ensure that families function properly (as explained in earlier sections). I think we have to adopt the respect that was given to materfamilias in Ancient Rome and apply it to housewives today.
The quote below was said by Cicero while he was defending his client in court from a woman accuser. He greatly respects and praises the title of materfamilias, so much so that he claims their dignity should prevent them from being insulted in public. He uses this incredibly high standard to argue that his accuser is not worthy of this respect. This highlights how materfamilias was a title of great distinction in Roman society, and Cicero uses this to his advantage.
“If she does not affirm that she lent the gold to Marcus Caelius, if she does not accuse him of having procured the poison for her, our conduct is inappropriate. To use the name of Roman matron when the respect owed to respectable women does not allow it!7“
While we must use this as an exemplar of respect, there are other aspects of Roman family life that we should obviously not apply to the modern world. Materfamilias had no legal independence (paterfamilias had absolute legal authority) and the societal respect of the title generally only went to the Roman elite. Modern housewives should have complete legal autonomy (as they already do), and we should give every single housewife respect (not just upper class ones). I think this goes without saying though.
Why This Is Not Misogyny
Misogyny is defined as the hatred of or prejudice against women. In order for the idea of having a housewife to be misogynistic, it would have to be unjust towards women. Below I have listed my counterarguments against the feminists who take this stance:
. Women have a choice – I am absolutely not saying that every women should become a housewife. It is a choice that women themselves need to make based on their circumstances (there is more on this in the next section). Feminism is about trying to give women freedom, which includes allowing them to become a housewife due to the many advantages it brings. Denying them this choice is the actual misogyny.
. The importance of domestic labour – the entire opposing argument is based on the fact that being a housewife is somehow inferior to paid labour. However, things like constant childcare, home-cooked meals and always having a clean house are just as important for a family to function properly. In fact, most housewives probably work for far longer than their husband, so their role could even be seen as superior (people probably wouldn’t call this misandry though, because there is a conspicuous double standard that I won’t talk about now).
. Equality – feminists argue that this system creates inequality facing women. They believe that because the husband earns all the money, the wife is powerless in the relationship. I agree that this can certainly be true for some relationships where the husband is abusive and unfair towards the woman. This is part of the reason why women should judge their circumstances in their relationships before they decide to become a housewife (as said earlier, this is explained in the next section). Husbands must recognise that both people contribute equally to the relationship, thus he will give his wife equal power in decision-making.
. No fixed gender – I do not believe that all housewives should be women, and that is a common misconception made by feminists. If the husband believes that he is better in the domestic sphere than in the working sphere, then he can definitely be a househusband if the wife wants to work. I am just highlighting that there is a separation in these spheres, meaning that one person can’t do both housework and paid labour, because they are different and distinct roles that require all of our attention. However, I do believe that women generally have more of an urge to nurture children and take care of their family. Thus, if a family wants a housewife but both the woman and man want to work, then the woman should be the one to take on the role of domestic labour.
The box below shows the statistics from a study done by BBC. It highlights how women generally do more domestic labour than men, which shows how most of them cannot suppress the deep (and perhaps biological) desire to take care of their family. Being a housewife is the perfect way to satisfy this desire for most women.
.”The Office for National Statistics said that, when it came to unpaid chores at home, women were doing almost 40% more than men on average.8“
.”Men averaged 16 hours a week helping out at home compared with 26 by women, with those on maternity leave doing the most.9“
The Risks of Being a Housewife
Housewives must make take many risks if they actually want to be a housewife. Below are some examples:
. Financial vulnerability of the housewife – since a housewife is entirely reliant on her husband, she is entirely reliant on his income. This means that if the relationship ends, she can be left in a very bad position. To minimise the impact of this, women should try to gain as much work experience as possible, and they should try to have worked actual jobs before she decides to start a relationship and be a housewife. This means that she can find a job if worst comes to worst. She must also ensure that she has a very strong and personal relationship with her husband built over many years, because this creates trust and loyalty in the relationship.
. Sole financial responsibility for the husband – the working husband has to earn enough by himself to cover all household expenses, so the husband must ideally have a relatively high yearly income. Moreover, the husband should also have good job security and he should have other high-paying jobs that he can fall back upon just in case he loses his current one. This will help to ensure that the family is financially secure. However, in the future, perhaps the government could support families who want to have a housewife but are too financially vulnerable.
These are just two examples of the very many risks that housewives (and families with housewives) have to take. If a family is not able to minimise these risks (like with the methods that I explained above), then it is perhaps unwise for them to have a housewife. Additionally, there is still a small chance of things going wrong in a family that is able to minimise these risks. In this case, the housewife must accept that the rewards of childcare, reduced stress levels and home-cooked meals outweigh the risks.
Conclusion
The keys to a functioning family and society (to an extent) are these queens of the domestic sphere. Their roles of cooking, cleaning, shopping, childcare and emotionally stabilising the family are beneficial, rewarding and vital. The job of a housewife must not be looked down upon for supposedly being misogynistic and inferior to paid labour. We must respect housewives just as much as the Romans respected the title of materfamilias. Despite potential risks and sacrifices that housewives have to take and make, I hope that every household across the UK will eventually have a housewife. This must be made a societal norm.
I hope you enjoyed this article. If you have any questions or thoughts on the article, let me know by leaving a comment below.
References
1. Barbara B. (2005). ” The Economic Emergence of Women” The occupation of a housewife, ResearchGate
2. Amy H. Christina F. (2016). “When Does Time Matter? Maternal Employment, Children’s Time With Parents, and Child Development” Time with parents affects child outcomes, National Library of Medicine
3. Dongxu L. Xi G. (2023). “The effect of the time parents spend with children on children’s well-being” The time spent with parents is a crucial factor in the growth of children, and children’s well-being is an important indicator of their mental health, National Library of Medicine
4 and 5. Sally M. Stefanie V. Pei X. Amanda L. Boyd S. (2017). “Paying for convenience: comparing the cost of takeaway meals with their healthier home-cooked counterparts in New Zealand” Convenience and cost impact on people’s meal decisions, Cambridge University Press
6. tutor2u. (2022). “Families: Functionalism” Functionalists argue that the family has important functions both for society and for individuals, tutor2u
7. Mary L. Maureen F. (1982). “71. Cicero on Clodia” Cicero speaking last in the defence of Marcus Caelius Rufus, Diotíma
8 and 9. BBC. (2016). “Women still do more household chores than men, ONS finds” Women still do more housework and childcare than men, especially between the ages of 26 and 35, figures show, BBC